This project is about me. About a life that, for years, has unfolded in two parallel worlds the visible one, and the one no one sees.It is my relationship with depression, something I have lived with for years and could not name for a long time. A relationship I cannot leave, even though I have tried many times to free myself from it. Depression did not arrive suddenly. It grew into me slowly. At first, it was a kind of fatigue I could not explain. Then it became a void that began to fill more and more areas of my life. Eventually, it turned into a state in which I function quietly, almost invisibly to others. For a long time, I did not know it was an illness. I thought this was simply who I was. Not enough. Weaker. Worse. I learned to function despite it. To be “present.” To meet expectations. To smile.At the same time, every day, I experienced something invisible: a weight that cut me off from myself. Panic attacks came later. Suddenly, without warning. I lose control over my own body. My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my throat. My hands tremble. The world begins to narrow. I feel as if I am about to die or lose consciousness.
And even though my mind tries to tell me, somewhere in the background, that “this will pass,” my body does not listen.What emerges is a pure, primal fear one that cannot be explained or stopped by reason.
After each episode, there is exhaustion. And shame.
Because it is hard to explain that the greatest battle takes place inside, in situations that, to others, seem completely ordinary. Over time, I began to understand that this story is not only mine. That I live in a reality where more and more people experience a similar state of disorientation, overload, and loneliness hidden beneath the surface of everyday roles.
This project was born out of the need to capture that state not as a spectacle of suffering, but as a daily experience shared by many.In recent years, more and more people have been struggling with depression and anxiety disorders. Data shows a clear increase in diagnoses and suicide attempts among young people. But behind every statistic, there is someone’s silence, someone’s “I can’t do this anymore” that is never spoken out loud.
Depression and panic attacks are not just a state of mind they are a daily struggle, invisible to the world. The heart races, breathing becomes heavy, and the mind is trapped in a loop of fear. It took me time to be ready to tell this story. Depression crept in slowly first as exhaustion, then indifference, until every „why?” became a daily question. I am not alone. More and more young people are drowning in depression – the number of patients has increased by 120%, suicide attempts by 154%. Virtual life has replaced real connections, the pressure to succeed has become overwhelming, and failure feels unbearable. Many are afraid to speak up, fearing they’ll hear, “Just get over it.” But depression is not a choice – it’s an illness. And though the darkness can be suffocating, the light still exists. Sometimes, all it takes is one word, one gesture, one “I’m here for you” to bring hope.
